You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
