Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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