Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
