Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
