In the future we'll all be gay
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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