It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
