Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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