Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
