Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
