i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
