He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
