Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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