My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize