you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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