I skipped work to stalk him.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize
