Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
White coat. Heels.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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