Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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