Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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