i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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