Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
