I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Randomize
