my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
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