Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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