you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Randomize