I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize