no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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