Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
