at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
