Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
When are your genitals available?
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
