You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
