We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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