Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
