I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
