But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
