Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Randomize