i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize