not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
