Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
