dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Randomize
