I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
this is an emotional support booty call
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Randomize
