I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
