Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize