I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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