no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
