How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
handjob tips. give me some.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
