So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
And then he peed in my hair
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