hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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