It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
