Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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