I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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