What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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