Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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