New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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