my sisters under your porch take her home
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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