Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize