I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
