Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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