I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
