When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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