Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize