Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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