The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
